What It Means If Physical Touch Is Your Love Language, According To Experts

 

Cuddle monster. Make-out maniac. Back-scratch lover.

If you’ve ever been dubbed (or resonate with) any of these nicknames, odds are you need a lot of skin-on-skin to feel special. True to you? Well, physical touch could be your love language.

If you’ve ever fallen down an online quiz rabbit hole (#relatable), you’re probably familiar with the concept of physical touch and the various love languages.

ICYMI, here’s a quick refresher: Love languages is a concept that was created and coined by anthropologist and marriage counselor Gary Chapman, PhD in 1992 with the release of his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, explains Carolina Pataky, PhD, a sex therapist and founder of South Florida's Love Discovery Institute.

While the text is more than three decades old, the framework still has utility today. “It can still serve as a helpful guide to understanding the art of knowing how you and your partner feel loved and appreciated,” she says.womenshealthmag.com

The gist? There are five main ways that people give and receive love: through acts of service, through quality time, through words of affirmation, through gifts, and through physical touch, she explains.

Each of the love languages is more or less what it sounds like. People whose love language is words of affirmation, for example, like to hear a kind word or praise. While people whose love language is quality time require a decent amount of intentional hanging out with their lovers.

And, as you might guess, people whose love language is physical touch need strokes on strokes on strokes on strokes.

“People who have touch as their primary love language need physical contact (touch) to feel loved,” she says. Without proper types (or frequencies) of touch, these folks can feel like they aren’t cherished. Not ideal. 

That’s why Pataky says knowing your own and your partners' primary love language is essential. “It helps make sure you’re expressing care and appreciation in a language that your partner understands—and vice versa,” she says. Bluntly, this love language thing is no small potatoes.

Intrigued? Ahead, sex and relationship educators explain exactly what it means if your love language is physical touch. (Spoiler alert: It doesn’t mean you’re horny 24/7). They also share how to show love to someone who receives it via physical touch, whether you live near or far.

What does it mean if physical touch is your love language?

Put simply, someone whose love language is physical touch feels most loved, appreciated, and valued when they are touched. But we’re not talking any old types of touch, according to Pataky. “The touch is an intentional touch of deep appreciation,” she says.

Despite common misconception, however, physical touch isn’t just sexual. “The touch doesn’t necessarily have to be erotic,” says Pataky. People whose love language is touch might just enjoy holding hands in public or sitting on their partner’s lap during a movie, she says. (For the record: Someone might have a high libido and enjoy regular sex with their partner, but have one of the other four love languages).

This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

There are a number of factors that influence how a person most likes to receive love—including how love was or wasn’t expressed in their family growing up. But as far as physical touch is concerned, there’s actually a hormonal component, too. “When we experience physical touch, we release certain hormones and neurotransmitters such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine,” says Pataky. And these hormones make us feel good. Like, good good. Unsurprisingly, these have been dubbed the love and cuddle hormones, respectively.

Oh, and to be clear: Most people have more than one love language. Actually, if you take this online love language quiz right now you’ll likely learn that you need a little bit of all five to feel swooned over.

It’s also important to recognize that the way you give love and receive love may be different, so the way you like to show people that your heart-eyes for them may be different than how you like to be shown that someone heart-eyes you.